The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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