He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
