I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
