What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
