I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
