i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
