im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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