Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
