Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
