my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
