if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
