Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
