I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
