Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
