Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
