currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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