He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
