1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
