that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
