chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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