Jerry, you need to find god
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
