remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
