Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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