i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
