If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We smell like vodka and hangover
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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