what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
