Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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