I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
