You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
