Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
