And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
