I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
