eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
