Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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