I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
