they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
