I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
