I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
