Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
being pregnant is like rehab
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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