On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
