idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
