I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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