she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
People in love make me want to vomit
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
