Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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