he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
