Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
