i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
