There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
