Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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