One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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